Adopt A Failed Sitcom: Teachers
Oh my God, I’m on “Teachers.”
With every new television season that comes to bear on the American public, alongside the hit sitcoms, police dramas, and CSI: The Moon, there also is a slew of television programs that never really have a fighting chance. Whether it be due to a poor timeslot, competing against more established shows, or simply being terrible, terrible television, the battle of the networks sees its fair share of casualities in run of the mill sitcoms and dramas. Shows like Jesse, The Geena Davis Show, and Veronica’s Closet never really get any sort of attention in the cutthroat world of formulaic simplistic humor for the drooling masses.
Well no longer.
I’ve decided to take a floundering, doomed sitcom under my wing. Like a mangy cat found in the alleyway, I’ll care for it, keep it warm and comfortable until the ravages of unoriginal sophomoric humor and bland characters eventually swallow it up into the world of cancelled TV, never to be heard from again.
The show I’ve chosen? Teachers on NBC Tuesdays at 9:30. This show is floating in shark-infested water and it’s bleeding from the eyeballs. It’s like watching a man walk towards a door that either contains an electric chair or Heidi Klum sprawled out on a million dollars. He doesn’t know what’s beyond it, but you know it’s the chair, and all you can do is watch for that fate to be discovered. Perverse, grim pleasure is what watching Teachers is all about.
Teachers is about mountain climbers. Just kidding, it’s about teachers. In fact, this sitcom follows the mundane antics of a group of teachers at some high school somewhere, and we’re supposed to care. There’s cheap shots at poor students, disillusioned teachers and power-hungry principals. A laugh a minute!
Basically, you can tell this sitcom is doomed to failure because of its one critical flaw: stereotypical boring characters, a hackjob script, and an entirely uninteresting premise. Oh, sorry, did I say one critical flaw? I meant a cacophony of flaws so critical that it’s amazing the 
show wasn’t cancelled mid-tired 90’s reference punchline on the first episode.
Basically, in a series of posts, I want to give some attention to a sitcom that will be as fleeting, however nowhere near as brilliant as a shooting star. This show will be cancelled with miniscule fanfare, and I’d like to think that, years down the line, people can see that my puny blog gave a little attention to crappy, crappy Teachers and wonder “What show is he talking about?” I hope you enjoy it a lot, or at least much more than an episode of the sitcom in question.
