Majorly English

Salutations, everyone, I’m back from a brief reprieve. For a quick update, I finished up my internship in NYC and moved back home for a couple of weeks, during which time I was busy looking for work before relocating down to Washington, DC, to join my fiancee, who is currently studying for her Ph.D. at Georgetown. Guess what? I haven’t found any work yet. I have a couple of things pending, but as of right now, I have no gainful employment.

What that means for me:

1. I picked up an application to be a barista at Starbuck’s. I’m a little nervous about potentially becoming a barista. First off, I don’t know how to make any coffee that doesn’t come in a Folger’s can. I don’t even think macchiato is a word in a human language. Secondly, I’m afraid it will hurt when the corporation sticks the giant metal needle in the back of my neck so that I fall into a dreamlike false reality until I am harvested in order to feed the insatiable appetite of our machine overlords.
2. I have a lot more free time, which I plan to spend looking for jobs, not shaving, and blogging.

What that means for you:

1. More antics from yours truly.

I know it’s been a while, but I’ll go slow at first, I promise. Fortunately, my blog didn’t fall into complete and utter obscurity during my hiatus, partly due to Majorly English being one of the few locations on the Internet where one can learn Terrell Owens’s middle name (Eldorad). It helps when you offer one of the few obscure facts about a celebrity currently in the throes of a suicide attempt/nasty rash.

So I’m back in the blogging business, so let’s get to it.

I want to address the past two weeks of Notre Dame’s football season. It was brutal at first, I didn’t even watch the second half of the Michigan game because I didn’t want it to ruin my entire day. I spent $150 to watch ND lose to Michigan 38-0 in Ann Arbor a few years ago, and I felt I had the right to turn off another drubbing when it would simply cost me my good mood. That being said, I went into this week’s MSU game with a little less anticipation, what with national title hopes and Heisman contention shot (or IS it?). I almost turned that game off as well, feeling like if the team wasn’t going to play well enough to make it a game, they didn’t deserve to have me watch them fail again. Bob Davie and Brent Musberger making armpit noises into their microphones all night and calling it “coverage” didn’t help matters any. However, I stuck with it, and as we all know, they pulled it out.

This week is Purdue, and it can go one of two ways. 1. We continue to play flat like we have the last few weeks, Purdue’s explosive offense jumps all over us, and we have to go through this all over again. OR, the MSU game could be the spark this team needs. It was easy to talk themselves out of the Michigan loss, saying that maybe Michigan is really good this year, potential national title contenders even, there’s no shame in losing after a brutal opening stretch. But then the first three quarters of MSU came around, and we all thought, “Oh, crap.” We knew ND was good enough to beat MSU, but their flat play was going to doom them to another loss. However, the team got their head out of their asses soon enough to compose a masterful comeback, and now the team is rolling. Purdue is next in line, another undefeated foe who thinks they can see the chinks in ND’s armor. But Notre Dame now has a chip on their shoulder, they have to prove that they are one of the best, and there’s no reason they can’t. Expect ND to banish Purdue back to the southern hemisphere of Indiana and again establish themselves as the premier football power in the Crossroads of America.

No matter what happens this Saturday, we ND fans can take solace in one simple fact:

Win or lose, this picture will continue to exist. Aren’t you glad I’m back?