Majorly English

I have bad news, everyone. Joe Biden is not going to be your next President. “But who is Joe Biden?” you ask. It’s simple: he’s a man who hates all black people except Barack Obama.

If you’ve been following the news, you’ve heard about the backlash regarding some statements Biden (D-Delaware) made in an interview with The New York Observer yesterday. The senator described Barack Obama as “the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”

Oh, and did I mention that he also kicked off his Presidential campaign yesterday as well? Yes, Biden’s bid at Commander in Chief disintegrated faster than you can scream, “Hyeah!”

Obama, refusing to sink to the level of insults such as “articulate” and “clean,” said he knew Biden meant no harm. “I didn’t take it personally and I don’t think he intended to offend,” said Obama. “But the way he constructed the statement was probably a little unfortunate.”

That’s code for “Jesus, Biden, I actually have a shot at this thing and you’re going to make me enter into the media circus respond to the situation with a bullwhip and a stool? I should pimpslap you, but I won’t for fear of appearing ‘too black’ to NASCAR dads.”

Now, there are a few ways to look at this. One way is tried and true, as comforting as pulling on a warm wool sweater after exiting a cool October rain: a politician said something stupid/insensitive/false/racist/sexist/funny sounding, the media will rake him over the coals for a few days to get their jollies, and then we’ll cast him aside and wait for the next out-of-touch white man to make a blunder, all the while stoking those coals, keeping ‘em waiting for supple Washington flesh.

The second way is a bit more complicated: Is it really offensive? Can we view Biden’s assertion that Obama is articulate, bright, and clean as insulting to the black community via negation? Are there people out there that DON’T think Obama is the first truly viable black candidate our country has seen?

I’m convinced that the key to this snafu is the usage of the word “articulate.” Previously, people (read: white people attempting to diffuse liberal guilt) would praise black public figures by saying how “well-spoken” and “articulate” they were. They would constantly say it, to the point that some blacks began to bristle, feeling that such compliments were viewed less as a compliment to the person, and more a pat on the back for escaping from the vacuum of ebonics and jive-talking that assumedly pervaded a black person’s lifestyle. Now, people (read: white people attempting to diffuse liberal guilt) view calling a black man “articulate” as out of touch and racist. The “Boy, You Don’t Sweat Much For A Fat Lady” line of thinking, if you will.

What do I think? I think Biden talks too much for his own good, this statement, while poorly crafted, is essentially true, and the only fallout from this will be the extinguishing of Joe Biden’s soggy sparkler of a chance for the presidency.

Joe Biden Discovers Clean, Articulate Black Man {Wonkette

Biden Unbound {New York Observer}