Archive for February 15th, 2007
St. Mary’s Continues To Vehemently Enforce Jonathan Klingler’s Accidental Vow Of Celibacy
It hasn’t gone well. After two days, seven letters have been published in The Observer, to the point that today’s round fell under the general heading “Discussion of Klingler’s column continues.” We’ve reached the point where letters are being written in denouncing other letters for being written in the first place. In fact, a letter was published from a girl who didn’t attend either school, prompting me to wonder why she felt compelled to weigh in on a debate going on between two schools she has nothing to do with; I seem to have no trouble leaving Baylor and Wichita State alone.
This mysterious young woman, a Krissy Z (Editor Update: Further increasing her mystery, the author of this letter e-mailed me, and requested I remove her last name, so this post will not show up in search engines when you Google her name. Her last name rhymes with ‘Blotaley.’ I have to question her concerns of being discovered by my measly Internet fart, when she willing presents her ideas to a captive audience of over 8,000 people. Granted, it’s without my editorial input, but I digress.) from Chicago, Ill., starts her letter off in a promising fashion, mocking her reading audience, who already have no idea why she’s contributing to the debate, and then proceeding to notify us of her astounding awesomeness.
And I quote:
To all Saint Mary’s College and Notre Dame students and alumni, I just
have to ask – what are you arguing about? I will say up front that I
never attended school in Notre Dame, Ind. or South Bend, Ind. or
anywhere remotely close. I did not even attend a private university
(Gasp! I’ll give you a moment to process and decide if you can continue
reading…). Joking aside, I am proud of my school and I am proud of the rich tradition of my Big Ten roots. I attended one of top high schools in the nation and started college with sophomore credit due to my high school AP credit.The thought of applying to Notre Dame crossed my mind, along with a number of other private schools. In the end, I only applied to Big Ten schools – like you, I had grown up in the legacy of competitive (and collaborative) college football, strong academics and honor. As many of you followed generations to Notre Dame and Saint Mary’s, I followed to Big Ten.
Atta girl, Krissy. Reel ‘em in.
Oh, and the conclusion is dynamite as well, particularly the final sentence:
Maybe you need more bars in South Bend, because one thing is clear from
this debate: you all have too much time on your hands if you are
spending yours on this debate!
And I reiterate, this sage advice is coming from the girl who attends neither St. Mary’s nor Notre Dame, and has written a letter to their student newspaper, telling them how dumb they are for expending energy on the debate, which she happily weighed in on.
It boggles the mind.
Sister schools should act like family – Viewpoint
This Day In History: Someone Important, Unimportant Equivocated
On my Google homepage, I get a “This Day In History” little box that changes every day, and lets me know what I should be thankful for today. Many of these historical tidbits are the birthdates of celebrated public figures, people who left an indelible fingerprint on our society.
However, today, Google’s historical ombudsman decided that two people were born today, two people whose contributions to our world were so grand, it would be impossible to decide which one would receive the coveted Google hompage “This Day In History” box bullet point. So they split them.
First, we have Susan B. Anthony.
1820:Anti-slavery activist, feminist and suffragist, Susan B Anthony born in Adams, Massachusetts
A wonderfully viable candidate, forever changed the way the United States elects its leaders, runs its country, and views its women.
The second person? The person who was deemed to share equal coverage with Susan B. Anthony, the leader of the female suffrage movement?
1971:
Producer, director, actress and Xena’s sidekick, Evelyn Renee O’Connor born in Katy, Texas
The sidekick to Xena: Warrior Princess.
Now, it may seem to you, as it seemed to me initially, that this is quite a stretch, to include the actress who played a sidekick to an Amazonian science fiction warrior on basic cable alongside the woman who played an integral role in women’s rights and electoral policy for the most powerful country in the world.
However, after a little research, I soon came to understand Google’s decision. Evelyn Renee O’Connor is currently finishing up filming Boogeyman 2, thereby sealing her legacy as a woman as significant as Susan B. Anthony. Rest easy, America.
I’ve Had It With These Naked Babies
As I was sitting on the bus on my way to work today, sandwiched between the guy who smelled too much and the guy who smelled me too much, I looked up and was greeted with a naked butt.
When did this become OK? I can’t go a day without seeing some naked infant hind end either on a diaper commercial, a baby food commercial, or delivering a speech to Congress.
I get it, it’s cute. Naked babies are cute. But where do we draw the line? When are naked youths no longer cute, but crimes that get you put on databases and force you to live 500 yards away from any schools or playgrounds?
Well, what else am I going to think about on the bus?
More naked baby butts for you. Enjoy.
Tim Hardaway: Gays Are Out Of This World!
Majorly English is there with your “retired NBA player you once thought you remembered now coming into the news for something wholly un-basketball related” scoop.
Tim Hardaway hates gay people. On the succulent heels of retired NBA center John Amechi’s coming out, Hardaway spouted off on sports radio, the land where nothing good or productive ever happens:
“You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known. I don’t like gay people and I don’t like to be around gay people. I’m homophobic. I don’t like it. It shouldn’t be in the world or in the United States.”
He has since apologized, and I assume it’s only a matter of time until he enters rehab for six hours. Prior to becoming the NBA’s official Bigot, Hardaway was best known for scoring a 50-point basket in an MTV Rock N’ Jock basketball game.
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