I’m a man, and I’ve got it pretty good. Don’t let anybody with a pair of fuzzy dice tell you otherwise, moaning about holding doors, buying drinks, and hands that just plain ache after being squeezed for 36 hours by their wives in labor. Here are some ways I’ve realized that the XY’s have the edge:
- A woman can’t have children? She’s “barren.” A vast wasteland, devoid of any potential life, simply an empty void of despair. A man can’t have kids? He’s “shootin’ blanks.” It’s like a cap gun, and you get to play John(son) Wayne. Pew, pew!
- I pee standing up. Other things that are better when standing up: drinking and roller coasters. Let me put it this way: Boogie Board, or Surfboard?
- Women have to watch “The View.”
- If a man cries after hitting his thumb with a hammer trying to put up an Indiana Jones poster, or after watching Rudy after a bad day and getting caught up in all of it, he’s sensitive. If a woman cries for any reason at all, it’s just Tuesday. Or maybe we’ll just chalk it up to “that time of the month” and continue whistling along our manly way.
- Every day you don’t eat a steak is just another day until you’re due to eat a steak.
- And finally (for now) Steven Seagal - 100% Karate-Choppin’, Guitar-Shreddin’, One-Liner Spewin’ Man.
As always, Steven Seagal brings a big heaping bowl of testosterone with him wherever he goes. No, he actually has a bowl of the stuff he keeps in a rolling suitcase.
2 comments
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April 3, 2008 at 10:30 pm
artpredator
1. just wait til you have to watch the mother of your child deliver. my husband is still recovering–and the child is 4
2. i pee standing up. they have these cool devices like i used when i backpacked from mexico to canada to keep the mosquitos away or like the give out at burning man at some camp i can’t remember
3. no tv no view
4. hmmn takes a lot to make me cry. most men cry easier
5. don’t get this one
6. huh?
April 4, 2008 at 12:07 am
bug56
artpredator: takes things too seriously