You are currently browsing the daily archive for February 8th, 2008.
The D.C. Office of Tax and Revenue is having a rough go of things lately. First, it’s discovered that some employees have been using phony property tax rebate checks to live the lavish lifestyle only dreamt of by government employees. With the help of an inside bank manager, they bilked the D.C. government out of nearly $50 million over about a decade of grift. And they didn’t even try to hide it.
Faberge eggs, luxury automobiles, thousands of dollars spent at Neiman Marcus, these people were living like Britney Spears before, during, and shortly after she made all that money dancing like a stripper and singing like a slightly-less slutty, slightly-more talented stripper.
But upon the startling realization, D.C. officials brought down the hammer, firing all employees involved and all that should have seen something fishy going down. The FBI is currently investigating the matter.
So it seems like the matter, while unfortunate, is under control. That is, until a retail manager noticed two computer servers from the OTR had mysteriously turned up next to a dumpster behind a Ruby Tuesday miles away from the office.
“At first, I was thinking, ‘Man, who’s putting this stuff here?’ “
Barnes said, referring to the boxes. “But when I saw the labels of the
tax office, with all this stuff going on, I was like, ‘Uh oh.’ “
And make no mistake about it, it would be very difficult for somebody to accidentally pitch these things.
Servers are powerful computers that typically store vast databases or
other records to be shared throughout a company or agency. Officials
said they have yet to determine whether any personal information about
the District’s taxpayers, such as bank account and Social Security
numbers, was stored on the servers, or how the equipment ended up in
the alley. Servers are bulky, typically weighing 50 pounds or more.
At least when Marion Barry was caught smoking crack with a prostitute, you knew it wouldn’t end up in a dumpster behind a Ruby Tuesday. And even if it did, it would just be Barry, a prostitute, and some crack in said dumpster.
Tax Office Computer Servers Found by Trash - washingtonpost.com
Feeling a little down? Wondering if there’s any purpose in continuing this farcical search for some smidgen of meaning in the bleak wasteland that has become your life? Can I interest you in this handsome blouse?
BOSTON - If you’re sad and shopping, watch
your wallet: A new study shows people’s spending judgment goes out the
window when they’re down, especially if they’re a bit self-absorbed. Study
participants who watched a sadness-inducing video clip offered to pay
nearly four times as much money to buy a water bottle than a group that
watched an emotionally neutral clip.
This study sheds a lot of light on American Eagle’s new dynamic, paradigm-shattering advertising, wherein a young gentleman with absurd facial hair and pre-distressed jeans will sock you in the gut upon entering the store.
Sad, self-absorbed shoppers spend more - Behavior- msnbc.com
- Mitt Romney dropping out of the race. When a potential President claims he’ll wave his magic wand of Economic Fortitude and bring jobs back to Flint, MI, it’s pretty darn evident he’s a man who just wants your votes, and doesn’t care who he has to sleep with to get them. It also doesn’t hurt that he was the darling, curly-haired and gap-toothed favorite son of the bloviators of the right wing (Rush, Coulter, etc.). Anything that hurts them is good for America. Heck, if I fell out of an airplane and ruined Rush’s dash like Dave Chappelle in Con Air, I’d still think I came out on the positive end of things.
- The way labels on a beer bottle covered in condensation slowly separate from the bottle, allowing me to peel them off while I slowly and methodically assault my brain cells.
- Tuna salad.
- Tiki Barber realizing he’s maybe not as smart as he thought he was for leaving the Giants, while simultaneously struggling to maintain some level of relevancy in this post-Eli-not-sucking world.
- Voting. If you don’t vote, you’re making this country a worse place to live. End of story.
- Notre Dame’s stud-festooned recruiting class
