Majorly English

Discussing politics in your office is a lot like mumbletypeg-peg:

It’s a horrifying experience throughout, you wonder
why you ever decided to partake in it in the first place, and the
absolute best result you get from the entire thing if you get through
it without shedding blood.

I’ve got some big ideas for this blog. They include, but are not limited to:

1. Writing
2. Writing consistently.

I know, I know, posts on the blog about how I will post on the blog are some of the strongest indications that I will continue to struggle to post on the blog. But I really mean it this time, baby, I’m done with all that non-posting, posting here is where I want to be.

For all the kerfuffle and snafus currently circling around The New Yorker’s questionable cover depicting the Obamas as America-hating, gun-toting, turban-wearing nogoodknicks, the actual article that serves as the impetus for the cover is pretty darn good, and a great insight into how Barack Obama, an Illinois state senator just a handful of years ago, is poised to become the next President of the United States.

Make no mistake about it, he didn’t reach this point by giving exquisite back rubs and noticing constituents’ new haircuts; the man is a politician, and he plays the game very well.

But if you’re interested enough in the election to recognize that the inflammatory cover is meant as satire (its efficacy at that point notwithstanding), I’d recommend you take a gander at this lengthy article.

The Political Scene: Making It: Reporting & Essays: The New Yorker

If you caught the Miss Universe pageant last night, you probably got a seriously case of deja vu.  I know what you’re thinking:  an annual pageant that involves tall, skinny women with bleached teeth wandering about in ballgowns and swimsuits while talking so much about how much they love great things, what possible avenue for repetition could there be?

But you’d be wrong (as usual):  for the second consecutive year, Miss USA, despite having the backing of the world’s lone superpower in all her walking endeavors, totally ate it when trying to strut during the ballgown portion of the competition.

It’s the typical fast-lane, VH1 “Behind the Music” type story; this young upstart beauty queen, who once started with just a handful of sequins and a one-piece (one-piece!) bathing suit, finds herself cavorting with the most unique and talented similarly inoffensively attractive women from around the globe at the Miss Universe pageant.  But, in her rapid ascendence to the worldwide stage, she forgets her roots, including that no matter how smiley she is, there’s no replacement for some good old-fashioned blue-collar John Cougar Mellencamp walking.  She comes out on the stage for the ballgown competition, full of moxie and hairspray, and then when it all came crashing down.

As I stumble out of the shower this morning, I flip on The Today Show, that delightful combination of hard-hitting news, stories about how to reduce your cankles, and Willard Scott praising geriatrics for not dying yet (sponsored by Smucker’s: With a name like Smucker’s, it has to be good. Smucker’s.).

Right at the top of the 7:00 hour, they’re talking about this cover of The New Yorker, highlighting the lengthy feature they have on Barack Obama in the most recent issue. The only problem is that the cover paints Obama and his wife as terrorists who will pound their fists all the way to the creation of an Islamo-fundamentalist state.

The magazine says that the cover is meant to be ironic; a direct portrayal of the insinuiations made via whisper campaigns from the right (right direction, not as a manner of correctness) side of the political spectrum. I’m willing to believe the magazine, because it’s The New Yorker. Not because the magazine should be heralded as some infallible fountain of insight and commentary, but rather because The New Yorker is a few hundred notches above the mass e-mail your local gun club president would send out; the first publication that would potentially paint this portrait of the Obamas without its tongue impaling its cheek.

Of course, the problem now lies in the fact that the story is getting national exposure, and the cover, which I am willing to bet most New Yorker readers would recognize as satire, is being plastered over the airwaves, beamed into the homes of the millions of Americans who have not heard of the publication and its rhetorical history, and instead are tuning into their morning news programs to get the latest news on Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s twins, who are the most important babies ever born, because they are no doubt very attractive.

I guess the final takeaway from this whole matter is: The New Yorker was not offensive in putting together the cover, but when its context was removed from the intended audience who would “get” the gesture, it became a whole new animal.

Gothamist: New Yorker Obama Cover: Ironic or Offensive?

In the latest political/election story that is not technically about politics or the election, Jesse Jackson was not aware that his microphone was live for an interview when he muttered to his fellow interviewee that Obama was “talking down to black people” and wanted to “cut his nuts off.”

At least, I think he said, “cut his nuts off,” but I can’t be sure, because FOX News, who got a hold of the footage, decided that our ears were too sensitive to hear the single phrase they pimped relentlessly that we’d want to hear.

That footage was taped Saturday, but only aired yesterday, which means that FOX News execs likely spent the last few days thinking long and hard about airing the footage, and whether or not it was truly newsworthy and legitimate enough to merit nationwide coverage.  Or they just managed to stop giggling a few hours ago.

Upon hearing that he had been caught making asalty comments on air, and upon discovering that the network planned to air the footage in its prime time slot, Jackson patted himself down for microphones, then responded, “You gotta be f*cking kiddnig me.”

As with most of this stories, it is not believed that it will have any lasting ramifications on the race for the Presidency, as most Americans have yet to discover that an election is forthcoming.