LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – Actress Jessica Biel has overtaken Brad Pitt as the most dangerous celebrity

to search in cyberspace, according to Internet security company McAfee Inc.

Jessica Biel will kill your Internet – Wired

The only thing more reliable than a blog going silent for a prolonged period of time is the repeated attempts to get it up and running again on a consistent basis.  We’re entering Stage 2 of that process for what feels like the 7th or 8th time.  But I’m no longer lazy, so that might help.

When we last saw Chuck Grassley opening his mouth, he was postulating that perhaps the best salve for the nation’s anger towards the financial meltdown would be the sweet, sweet blood spilt from AIG executives.

Now we learned that we’ve allowed AIG to get all the way to second base with John Q. Taxpayer, and we’ve got a sneaking suspicion that, even though they said they’d call as they left our apartment, they’re not going to call.  Also, they’ve got our Interpol CD, and billions of our dollars.

Wonkette : Sen. Chuck Grassley: AIG Just Stone Cold Suckin’ Your Fat Titties.

St. Patrick’s Day and I have a relationship that can at best be called “estranged,” like an uncle who was named your godfather, but you haven’t spoken to him in years, and have a sneaking suspicion that if you happened to walk past him in an airport, you’d probably just ignore him rather than attempt to engage in awkward conversation.

i had a « Lolcats ‘n’ Funny Pictures of Cats – I Can Has Cheezburger?.

“The first thing that would make me feel a little bit better toward them (is) if they’d follow the Japanese example and come before the American people and take that deep bow and say, I’m sorry, and then either do one of two things: resign or go commit suicide.”

That’s Senator Charles Grassley drinking him some sweet, sweet populist outrage over the bonuses AIG had the gall to hand out to its employees, apparently for doing such a great job in the last year melting down the global economy and turning it into an avant-garde sculpture of some sort that looks to be profound, but you secretly suspect just sucks and is grossly derivative.

By the by, “populist outrage” tastes like a combination of Miller Genuine Draft and Kool-Aid that’s been filtered through a Brita.

Grassley to AIG execs: Resign or commit suicide | U.S. | Reuters.

Here’s a video of Charlie Weis and Bill Belichick singing Bon Jovi songs.  In public.  On a stage.  With reckless disregard for shame and/or dignity.  I can’t look away, and yet I know this video dramatically increases the odds that my face melts or that I spontaneously combust.  Enjoy.

Ed Note: I’m aware that this public display of anachronistic hard rocking was to raise oodles of money to help special needs children.  And I’m very well aware of the fact that I’ve done far, far more embarrassing things for far, far, far less money … usually zero.  But nobody cares about me.

Her Loyal Sons » Morally Obligated to Post This.

There is an advertisement.  It is horrible.

YouTube – UroClub New Commercial.

It’s a golf club you can pee into, thank goodness.

I’m just thankful this product is only being advertised on a website, since we’ve been saved from the cheesy infomercial where we see a frustrated golfer trying to pee discretely in the rough, only to end up urinating all over himself and his cohorts.  There’s got to be a better way!

Matco Enterprises • UroClub™.

With the economy continuing its downslide, pitting comedian against

agitated investment guru and creating an unceasing number of terrifying graphs with very frightening lines on them, our country needed some good news.  However, since no good news is around because everything is awful, we’ll settle for some misappropriated anger and an abstract sense of moral outrage, topped with the cherry of completely irrelevant justice-delivering.

So Bernie Madoff is going to jail, and probably won’t leave until they roll him out in a coffin.  Happy days.  Somehow I doubt he’ll be trusted as much of a cigarette broker in prison.

Madoff pleads guilty to all 11 charges in federal court – Mar. 12, 2009.

In the “Things You Didn’t Know You Were Missing Until You Discovered It Existed” Department, Cursebird.com is a website that provides a live feed of every curse word tweeple tweet on Twitter.  The thing is nearly impossible to keep up with, providing yet another indication of the ever-fraying social fabric of our modern society.  A second major indicator is the fact that a website exists to document said fraying.

Anyways, my personal favorite “profanitwee” that I saw in my roughly 30 second visit:

It is so fucking hot today. lol

— inkreality #1300885861 just a moment ago

L-O-L indeed.

Cursebird: What the f#@! is everyone swearing about?.